


Everyone Needs a Place

by fregg



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: AU, Comedy, Crossover, M/M, wizard!Harry Hart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 04:31:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4377299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fregg/pseuds/fregg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking around the room Eggsy realized that of all the things that could have happened, this has definitely not been on his list of possible outcomes for his afternoon.</p>
<p>Or: That Harry Potter crossover noone asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is unbeta’d and not britpicked so I'm sorry about that.

The first thing he knew when he came to was that this was not how you were supposed to feel. His body couldn't decide whether to feel hot or cold, every limb ached and all he wanted to do was lay in bed and wait for impending death. Drawing his sheets over his head to shut out the morning sun that was seeping through the bedroom window he slowly drifted back to a fitful sleep.

Harry had no idea how much time had passed but he woke to the sound of his owl Mr. Pickle tapping on the closed window. Harry just grumbled at the noise and after a good bit of contemplating he got up and let the owl in. The owl flew in and landed on his arm. Harry still felt horrible but it wasn't his pets fault so he petted his owl to so make up for ignoring him so long. “What is it, Mr Pickle?”  
The owl held out his leg to show him he had mail. Clumsily he took the letter and opened it. It was from Merlin asking him where the hell he was. Confused, Harry looked at the clock. It was just after one in the afternoon. Thank, Salazar he hadn't sent a howler. With a groan he let himself fall back on his bed making the surprised owl wildly flap his wings before he landed on the bed next to Harry. He reached for his ink and feather and scribbled a quick note under Merlin's message that he won't come into work today. Binding the letter back to Mr. Pickles leg, he patted him one last time before he flew out of the window again.

The sheets on his bed were soft and they were just screaming at him to get back to rest. It took every fibre of him not to fall back asleep but he was up now so he guessed it was best to just go see a doctor. On the one hand to clear if it was a common flue and get some potion against it. On the other hand it was always good to have some official paper to explain why he didn't come into work today.  
He half heartedly put on his suit and robe, trying to keep up appearances. He was an auror after all. Dragging himself to his fireplace he took a bit of floo powder and threw it in the fireplace. He mumbled the address and waited for the flames to turn green. When they did he stepped in to let them swallow him up. 

*

Eggsy was just minding his own business playing video games while his little sister was asleep in the next room and his mother was out for her day job. His shift at the buffet wouldn't start until tonight so he had a bit of time to kill. When out of nowhere there was an eardrum shattering crash followed by an immense amount of dust in the air.  
“Bloody hell!”, Eggsy exclaimed. Startled, he shot up from his spot on the couch and threw his controller god-knows-where. When the dust settled around him he looked around for what the hell had caused this chaos. The only possible answer he could find was a body.

  
He stared at a middle aged man wearing some sort of cape who apparently came down the freaking chimney and was now laying on his living room carpet covered in dirt.  
Eggsy had no idea how all this noise hadn't woken up Daisy yet. Scanning the room he realised that not only was everything covered in black ash but also at least one chair had to say goodbye to one of its legs. Not to mention the debris that once covered the dinner table was now scattering the floor.  
His mother was going to kill him and, oh god... he didn't even want to know what Dean was going to do to him should he come home early from who knows what he was doing all day. The faster Eggsy started cleaning this mess the better.

  
He flinched a bit when the man on his floor finally said something. “Shit,” was the first coherent thing he got from the stranger before he started coughing violently.  
Eggsy had no idea what to do so he simply stared dumbfounded. How the hell did this man even come through the chimney? Wasn't that thing supposed to be bricked shut? And why in God's name would anyone come in through there anyway? It wasn't anywhere near Christmas - not that that would have been a very good explanation. Also, going by the looks of that man, weird cape or not, he seemed quite sophisticated with his fancy suit. Not that upper class people didn't do weird shit sometimes it just seemed unlikely with this guy.

  
Tons of questions swirled through his mind, unable to voice any of them because this whole scene seemed just so ridiculously impossible.  
“Damn floo powder system. Always getting things wrong,” the stranger uttered to himself. Eggsy had no clue what the man was talking about. It seemed like the stranger hadn't quite realized he wasn't alone. When he got up, well, it was more stumbling than anything else, he looked disoriented around the room and then collapsed.

“What the fuck?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is unbeta’d and not britpicked so I'm sorry about that.

He buried his nose a bit deeper into the soft pillow but stopped when he realized something was off. The pillow smelled nice but it wasn't the smell he was used to from his own bed. This one smelled of pine and cigarettes. Opening his eyes, he realized, that indeed this was not his room. He had never seen such a small room if he was being honest. There was just enough space to accommodate a small wardrobe, a bookcase, a desk with some weird black box and well, the bed he obviously lay in.

Posters covered the wall as well as a picture of a man in a black suit that seemed to be in his twenties. There was a mirror leant against the wall, clothes and several grey boxes he had no clue what they were supposed to be filled the bookcase. All in all it didn't seem like the person living here didn't have a lot of possessions. The only thing he seemed to own a lot of were shoes. There were at least twenty pairs of shoes he could make out. Who knew how many more were hidden in the closet.

His robe and suit jacked were thrown over the only chair in the room. They were full of black stains. Some of them looked smudgy like someone had tried to rub them out but instead rubbed them in even more.

With a sigh he sat up which didn't quite help with the light headache he still had. For a moment he just sat at the edge of the bed to until everything around him stopped spinning. The first thing he did after getting up was to check if his wand was still there. There was nothing worse than being stuck some place he didn't know without any sort of defence. He found it still in its usual place so he took it out murmured a quick “ _Scourgify_ “ and the black spots disappeared.

Harry put on his clothes and left the room.

*

“Oh, that's where you went!”, the blond man exclaimed triumphantly getting a weirdly shaped grey object, which appeared to have several buttons, from under the sofa.

Harry leaned against the door frame and watched the young man get up.

“Um, hello?”, Harry asked into the devastated room.

The young man visibly startled, and shrieked while the grey object flew across the room. He turned around with a sour look on his face. “Are you trying to get me fucking killed, old man?!”

“It was not my intention to surprise you.” Harry apologized and added a bit offended “My name is Harry and not _old man_.”

“'m Eggsy. Care to explain why you enter strangers' homes through the freaking chimney and ruin their flats?”, he answered, wildly gesticulating around the room.

“Ah...” Harry was at a bit of a loss of words. Of all the he fireplaces he could have landed in he had landed in the flat of a muggle by accident. Brilliant. The Floo Network Authority will completely lose it when they are going to find out about this. He didn't want to know how much paperwork Percy Weasley would make him file. Just thinking about it made his headache get worse.

“I felt quite ill so I accidentally...”, he trailed off. Accidentally what? Ended up in the wrong fire place? Harry was damn sure Eggsy wouldn't believe him. He didn't know much about muggles but floo powder travelling was a sort of transportation they were not familiar with, he was pretty sure about that.

“So you only do this when you're ill?”

“Well, I normally don't do it at all if I can help it.” Apparating was much less troublesome. Not to mention cleaner and he wouldn't have to fear about breaking his elbows. But he couldn't share this with the young man. This is exactly why he avoided interacting with muggles. While they surely could be lovely people it was just so difficult to talk about anything because he knew close to nothing about them and he couldn't spill the beans about this whole magical world that exists side by side with theirs. But without the muggles' knowledge. Eggsy would surely think him a mad man should he mention anything about it. Well, madder than he already thinks him since entering people's home's through the chimney is something he is definitely not familiar with.

Eggsy just raised an eyebrow and looked at him sceptically. “Mhmm... so do you plan to help cleaning up this mess? Or is that something else you normally don't do if you can help it?” It was obvious he didn't believe anything Harry had just said. Eggsy went on to collect some more of the items laying on the floor.

“No, of course I will help. It was never my int-” Everything went black for a second when he stepped forward and he tried to get a hold of the counter as to not fall and pass out again. Eggsy looked up at him when he had abruptly stopped talking.

“You want an aspirin or something?”, Eggsy asked shooting him a concerned look while picking up several magazines from the floor.

“What?”, Harry had no idea what an _aspirin_ was supposed to be.

“I gave you one about four hours ago so it should be fine.”

Harry looked shocked at the statement. What had the young man given him? He had no recollection at all what happened after he greeted the floor with open arms.

His face must have betrayed him because the next thing he got was, something that felt like a very odd explanation. “Yo, I didn't drug you if you think that. I just offered you an aspirin and some water after I dragged you in the bed. Couldn't throw you out on the street in that state, now, could I?”

So that is how he had ended up in that bed. He felt quite a bit embarrassed at the thought that someone had to carry him to the bed – especially a rather good looking stranger that was probably half his age. Nevertheless he had to admitthe couple more hours of sleep had helped him feel at least a little bit less like death warmed over. He took a seat at the table nonetheless. No reason to risk anything.

The blond left the room and came back a couple of moments throwing a little square his way. It fit into the palm of his hand and was white and green, on one side it said _Aspirin_. He had absolutely no idea what to do with it. Did you just eat it? There were no instructions on there that might have helped him. After some contemplation of what to do he simply bit into the square. That didn't do anything special so Harry started chewing and it felt like something in there broke easily. Maybe it would seep through the smooth surface? He kept chewing, which apparently was not the way you consumed this a _spirin_ judging from the young man's look.

Eggsy just stood there staring at him with eyes big as tennis balls and his eyebrows trying to become one with his hairline. “What the heck are you doing?”

Grabbing the package from Harry's hand he ripped it open, slipped what looked like the remains of a powdery tablet into a glass and added water.

“There”, he said, putting the glass in front of him. “Wait 'til it dissolved and then drink it.”

He shook his head and massaged his temples with both his hands as to get rid of a headache.

“I'll be outside, I need a fag. Don't cause any more chaos than you already created in here, yeah?”

Grabbing a package of cigarettes from the kitchen counter he walked out of the door.

Harry took a sip from the glass. It tasted ghastly. Why would anyone drink this voluntarily?

Besides the taste the tablet-water mixture Eggsy had given him sure didn't seem to help. Despite it all he downed the rest of the glass if only to not appear impolite by refusing the hospitality.

He let his eyes wander over the smashed objects and the stained furniture in the room. It seemed like Eggsy had been working to clean up this mess while he was asleep. Taking the wand from his robe, he wondered how the non-magic people ever got anything done. Then he mumbled a quick spell and watched while the stain cleaned off the rug and the couch as if they had never been there. The chair with the broken leg reassembled itself and put itself back to its place at the table. The debris laying around on the floor neatly separated itself in garbage and useful objects which replaced them to their rightful place. In a matter of seconds the room looked as good as new again.

It was time to leave.

*

“I should go.”

“Ah, yes, and I am left with your collateral.” Eggsy breathed the inhaled cigarette smoke out through his nose making him look like an angry dragon. And Harry knew you never joked around those.

“I'm truly sorry about any inconvenience I might have caused.” He did feel a bit guilty even if he had just sorted everything out with a simple spell.

“Yeah, whatever. Ain't like the stains in the couch and the rug are gonna come out any time soon.”

Harry wished he could say anything about the state of the room he had just left but Eggsy is a muggle and just straight out telling him what he'd just done was not an option. No, there had to be another way to go about this.

“I could... pay for the damage I caused?”, Harry suggested. That surely was something muggles did. Money always seemed to be some kind of way where people could agree on – magical or not.

Eggsy stared at him incredulously. “You'd do that? I mean, you look like you've got money. But I guess, I wasn't too sure what you would do seeing as you climb through chimneys and ruin people's living room.”

Harry wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a compliment so he just kept silent.

“So, okay then... just gimme your cell number and we can work this out later.”

 _Cell number_ ? Which _cell_ was he talking about? Did he assume he lived in one?

“I'm sorry, I do not have a _cell number_.” he offered helplessly, hoping his ignorance of it didn't show too obviously on his face.

“What about a home telephone? Or anything else I can call you on?”

“I do not own a... calling device.” It was more a question disguised as a statement. What in Salazar's name was a telephone?

“Holy shit, are you from the past? Should I write you a letter?” Eggsy smirked.

Harry was almost happy to have found a way to communicate with him but the obvious sarcasm put a real damper on it. Muggles surely were weird. Why wouldn't you write a letter? He knew they wrote them. They had a whole system that delivered them. It wasn't as fast as owls, as far as he knew, but it worked. How it worked, however, was a mystery to him. Arthur Weasley once mentioned you have to put some kind of stickers on them. Harry still wasn't all too sure if he had been serious.

“Can you maybe simply come by my house?”, he suggested. It was the easiest way.

“What? Are you some kind of serial killer and this is how you lure in your prey?”

Harry had no clue if this was supposed to be some kind of sick joke.

“I wouldn't do any such thing,” he answered appalled. This young man was seriously odd.

“Sounds exactly like something a serial killer would say...” He folded his hands in front of his chest.

“Well... I-”

Eggsy let out a loud laugh.

“Chill! I'm just taking the piss!” He winked at him.

“Gosh, you should've seen your face!”

Harry blinked a bit confused. What the hell just happened?

“Whatever, bruv, just gimme your address and we'll figure this out. I should go and clean up the rest in there.” Pointing a finger over his shoulder towards the door.

He told him his address which the young man entered into something that looked a bit like a notebook but it didn't have any pages and it looked very smooth. What a weird device. Muggles sure were inventive.

Harry looked around a bit awkward. There was no way he would use the floo network again to get back home. Not after the day he's had so far.

“If you're trying to get home, there's a tube station not three streets down.” Eggsy offered.

“Ah...” He had always been intrigued to try that muggle underground train system but he had neither had the time nor the leisure to get acquainted with it. Maybe he should get in contact with Arthur Weasley again after all. He remembered overhearing him talk about it once.

Eggsy seemed to have picked up on his hesitation concerning the tube. “My shift starts in two hours if you want I can drop you off at the station before that.”

“That's very kind of you but I think I will manage. Thank you.”

He still didn't feel all too good but at least now he didn't feel like he would end up in two places at once should he apparate. Splinching was a nasty business.

Eggsy snipped the butt of his cigarette over the rail and turned to go back inside.

“I'll get back to you about the couch, yeah?”

“That's quite alright.” Harry said, happy that this was somewhat resolved.

When Eggsy put the keys into the front door lock he grinned and said over his shoulder, “And stay hydrated, bruv, yeah?” But when he turned around, the older man was already gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer than the first chapter. I hope you like it :)
> 
> Comments and critique are very welcome since this is the first multi-chapter fic I ever published.
> 
> I cross-posted this from my tumblr account (fregg.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> I woke up with this stupid image of Harry in my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it, so here we are.
> 
> I changed the floo powder thing a bit because it bugged me. And it appears I used the way the movies version of how to use floo powder (stepping in the fireplace, speaking your destination and then letting go of the powder) but I preferred the book version (throwing the floo powder in the fireplace, saying the destination, waiting until the fire turns green and then step in).  
> And I know the Unwins don't have a chimney but I needed one for this story.
> 
> I cross-posted this from my tumblr account (fregg.tumblr.com)
> 
> Edit: I started working on a second chapter for this because I couldn't stop thinking about it...


End file.
